"You'd Be Too Skinny!"

Yesterday at work, a couple things of note took place.

The first: I had a customer who completely gave me hope about aging. I've often had customers I meet trigger reactions in me, some good and some bad. The first time this happened, I was working in a grocery store deli in college, and I met a couple who were in their 40s who still had the playfulness and banter of newlyweds; and I thought, that's how I want to be when I get married. Haven't found it yet, but I'm willing to hang around long enough to find it - and I won't mind a bit if I can be half as youthful as this 76-year-old woman I met yesterday.

The woman comes in to the store and asks for some product. We chat a minute about her project, at which time she mentions how she's 76-years-old and had no idea that a kitchen remodel had so many details to it. She continues talking, but all I can think is "76? There's no way she's 76!" So I tell her that, I really would not have put her more than 55 or 60 - a dubious compliment, I know, but I meant it as a compliment and she could tell the sincerity of my statement.

She got flustered at this compliment, saying oh my gosh, with this sagging skin ... but she was clearly happy to have been pegged for younger.

In all honesty, if her body weren' betraying her age, I would have put her energy around 27 or 28. She had such vibrant and enthusiastic energy. She was carrying some extra weight, but that didn't matter. She had so much life in her. It was something to strive for, in my eyes.

Next, the title of our blog today, "You'd Be Too Skinny!"

Yesterday at work we had our weekly meeting. During it, we got talking about the "8 Pounds in 8 Weeks" challenge that I am running. It's a corporately-created program, and as the Wellness Captain, I am going to start it May 7, and it'll run through the end of June.

We got talking about the things different people wanted to get out of it. One girl said I want to do it, but I don't want to weigh in. She is thin, there's no reason for her to not want to weigh in; she said she's going to be lifting weights to tone up, so she might end up with a weight gain. I said that's fine, whatever she wants to accomplish.

Then, everybody starts talking about what the doctor's office says is a healthy weight. My manager shared, with incredulity and a bit of a smirk, that her doctor told her that her healthy weight, being five feet 2 inches, would be 125 pounds. My manager said, Now, I weigh 250 pounds right now. I'd have to

cut myself in half I said with her outloud. I said, yeah, kind of misty, relating my own need to do the same thing. We are in exactly the same boat, I thought, and it's depressing. Another entire person we are both carrying around on us as extra weight. When my thoughts cleared, my coworkers were having a fit.

WHAT!? 125 POUNDS?! Well, do you know how thin your face would look on 125 pounds!?!? No way! No way should you weigh that little! Mmn-nn. I can't believe those doctors charts! They're crazy!

I listened to everyone else's states of panic around this woman getting into a more healthy weight range. I said, along with the girl who wants to weight train, that well, that sounds about right for your height. I even thought the doctor was being generous - I've always operated on the basis that you should weigh 100 pounds at five feet tall, and then add five pounds for every inch over that. So, at 5'2", her ideal weight would even be 110 pounds.

But I didn't say that here. Everyone was too busy throwing into drama for me to interupt their fun with a sobering comment like that.

I just listened to everyone's opinions, but more interesting to me, was how much the thought of her being thinner bothered them. It was as if they were being personally assaulted by the suggestion of her weight loss.

Then, my coworker Dawn chimed in. She's pretty quiet, but she then said, "Why does everyone have to look the same? If you lost that much weight, well; that's what I weigh."

This interested me. I said quietly, you weigh 125? Dawn said, yeah. I nodded, just taking in the conversation as Dawn went on to seemingly defend my manager's 250 pounds.

Dawn and I are the same height, 5'7", and I went to myself; so that's how I would look if I weighed 125 pounds. Dawn is thin, but not too skinny. Nobody ever says, "That skinny designer," when describing her. They describe her as thin. There's a difference. To me, Dawn's got a healthy amount of meat on her bones, while still maintaining a trim frame.

It was interesting to hear them defend our 250 pound, 5'2" manager. One of the guys said, "Well, I get the same thing - my doctor says I should weigh 165. There's just no way. I think they're crazy." He's probably 5'5", and very fit, except he's got a nice round belly that he seems to love and be quite comfortable with.

And that's what my manager was then saying. She says, "Well, I love the curves on me. I love my breast, my booty, I just really like all this." She smiled like a little girl showing off a new dress for everyone.

I said quietly, "Well then, maybe you don't need to set a goal for weight loss. If you're happy with how you look, then stay how you are."

Well, she and the other guy didn't like that either. Then they went on about ways to lose weight, and at that point, I realized there is no arguing - people are on the journey they are on. I don't like being told I need to lose weight. In all honesty, I don't want to lose weight on this weight loss challenge, either. I feel like I am in the home stretch of going through my eating whatever I want Marianne Williams suggestion in her book "A Return to Love." I read through that entire book, and the one thing that jumped out most at me was the page on our infatuation with weight. She said the only way to conquer it is to let yourself have whatever you want. You will heal a lot of feelings of fear and scarcity around food. And then, your body will find it's natural resting point, you will find your body wanting to exercise to take the weight off, you will find yourself craving nutrient rich foods, because you will have satiated the part of you that felt you didn't get enough. I embarked on this journey about a year ago, and feel that I am on the tail end of it. But, who knows. Maybe I am to stay fat my whole life. I will tell you, now that I am at this weight, I don't feel concerned about my weight anymore like I used to. That much I do know. I feel calmer and more in tune with myself. So, we'll see. That's all for today. Thanks for listening. Until next time.