Sugar Rage?

Yesterday I was at training for my new, part-time Census job. I'm looking forward to this little gig; but, back to talking about weight.

I do not do self-care well at all. We've been in training all week, and the first two days I went out for lunch. Which is what I normally do at my main job. It finally occured to me that I am spending WAY too much on eating out. I decided I would bring my lunch the third and last days of training.

Well, I went to the store, got the ingredients for this really yummy salad that consists of soaked raw cashews, fresh basil and tomatos (sun dried are best), tossed with a little bit of olive oil, lemon juice, and sea salt. It is totally to die for, at least in my world, it might not be in yours. I was really looking forward to this meal.

I went and got the ingredients late Tuesday night. I considered making it right then for the next morning, and then thought, oh, I'm tired, I'll just get up early and prepare it.

I don't know who I'm kidding when I say these things. Once I go to bed at night, i am out. I have the hardest time getting out of bed once I get in. It's like the bed had little suction cups in it that are just oh so snuggly to me, I just get right in and never want to leave. Schwloop! There I am, awake at six, but if I have no where to go until 9, I don't leave that bed until 8:10. Dont' know why.

And so, I had no lunch the last two days. Those tasty ingredients just sat in my fridge, waiting to be prepared into a dish. They sit there still.

So what did I eat those two days? Well, on Wednesday I brought a can of wax beans. Mmmm. That was satisfying, she stated sarcastically. On Thursday, I had bought a bag of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies from the grocery store bakery. Ate those for breakfast and lunch yesterday.

Interesting thing, since I've erased so many foods from my life, I instantly see how foods affect me. When I ate the cookies, I started sneezing after about 20 or 30 minutes. My nose started running. The wheat? Not sure.

Then, that afternoon after we were let out for the day, I went to Taco Bell to get something quick to eat. Again, since I didn't have any food prepared at home, I ate out. I was craving a cheese quesadilla and the Nachos Bell Grande, no meat and no beans. They served it with beans. I had ordered through the drive through, and although I checked it before I pulled away, I noticed the beans and thought, well, I haven't had their beans in a while. I'll just eat it this way.

I ate my Taco Bell. And I spun into a rage after it was gone. And not because I was hungry for more. I think that it is possible that our food choices affect our moods.

I have been quite happy - nothing has been happening to bother me. Then, I ate this meal of mostly corn, wheat, and processed cheese items... and suddenly I'm furious? Is it possible there's a connection? And if there is, how can we find this out accurately?

If I were to say, Taco Bell Food Creates Rage in People, can you imagine the backlash in that statement? As well as the reaction from say, oh I don't know, Taco Bells lawyers? OK. So I won't say it creates rage in people. All I can say is that it created rage in me.

Even at that, can I really blame the food? It is awfully coincidental. But maybe I had been storing up some anger, and it happened to present itself at that time. Maybe I had something hormonal going on that coincided with the ingesting of the food. And maybe, just maybe, having the beans on my Nachos Bell Grande when I didn't want them to be ... well, maybe that was just the straw that broke the little boy holding his finger in the dam's finger. I don't know.

What I do know, is that on Wednesday, the beans weren't all that satisfying, but I didn't go off into a rage. On Thursday, I was fucking LIVID. About EVERYTHING. It was quite a show.

I still haven't bought my dehydrator. I am taking a look at my bills today, and figuring out when I can buy that. The deal is, I used to make food on Sunday and take it to work with me all week; I need to get into that habit again. Especially now that I'm working my full time job and doing the census thing in my spare time ... no time to cook. Thanks again for listening. Until next time.