The Fast Gets Easier

Just finishing day eight and embarking upon day nine of my fourteen day fast.

It's getting easier, that's all there is to it.

I spent yesterday driving back home from a party in Wisconsin. Hm, I didn't talk about that at all yesterday. A big birthday party for my Dad Saturday night; friends, family - all told, there was about 140 people there.

The party was nice. I avoided the food line and actually interacted with people. I made it all the way around the party, talking with everyone I knew. Normally at a party like that, I am at first anxious to get some food in me, like it's all I can think about is that plate of food. Then, when I get my food, I'm worried about how much I'm putting on my plate. If people knew how much I could really cram into my stomach ... oh boy. So I have to fill up as best I can to satisfy me, without looking like an over-indulgent pig. It always kills me when an overweight person is at a party, and they have like 3 olives and a carrot stick on their plate, and then say, Oh! I just couldn't eat any more. I always think, really? Looks like your eating more some other time then, cuz those 100 extra pounds your carrying had to have gotten there somewhere. I usually fill my plate, not heaping like the men will, but there is no white space on my plate.

Then, once I'm done eating, I want to go eat more. It just occured to me how much like and alcohol this behavior is. In fact, I used to think I wish I were just alcoholic. At least with alcoholism, you can eliminate going to bars, which I know doesn't eliminate your own internal cravings. But it is an easier item to eliminate from your world than say something like food is.

So I used to hide in food. This time, in order to avoid eating, I was up and out and socializing. Which is how I would rather be. I never realized until that night how much of a comforter and companion food truly is to me.

So that was good. I had some realizations about the dynamic of my family that night, too. I'll get into family frustrations another time. Let's just sum it up that there were a few things that happened that in the past I would have been seething over, and now they were rolling right over me. I don't know if that's good or bad.

As I mentioned in earlier posts, my mood is so even. I feel mellow and serene. I have had things happen that made me flare internally and did get me mad, but they passed quickly and I was soon back to serene. And that's my concern - am I just that even tempered now that I'm regulating my internal system? Or am I just that shut down emotionally that I am still showing nothing? We'll find that out as we go.

Physical Changes
-The scale this morning shows 14 pounds down. The weight is simply falling off. I am happy yet concerned about how much will slap back on once food is re-introduced.
-I am still broken out a little bit on my face. I wore foundation and powder yesterday, and I think it reacted with my skin because by the time I got home my face had that coated feeling on it. So, candida or Cover Girl? (No offense Cover Girl - you just fit into the alliteration)
- Tongue still coated in white moss-looking substance.
-Fingers are better still every day. I don't have any new skin to peel but they are still red from the skin that has been.
-Bottom of my left foot looked really good and almost looks like another batch brewed.
-I only drank half of the water I am supposed to be drinking. I am simply so sick of putting the same thing into me all the time, I just didn't feel raising that bottle to my lips yesterday.
- Energy is great. I could lift items easily yesterday. I did go have to have a drink of water soon thereafter, but as far as getting around goes, I feel like I'm well nourished.
- Mind is totally clear.
- I feel efficient all the time. Last night I came home and did some things around the house that I've been putting off. I just decided I had nothing else to do, so I did it. Normally, I would have filled that time ritualistic making myself a pizza or some other great-tasting but not-so-great-for-me food item and taking up a good one to two hours of my life in prep and consumption mode, and then passing out. So, I'm experiencing a big improvement in what's getting done.
- The cravings are lessening. I still had visions of pizza and spaghetti marinara yesterday, but not as intensely as the day before.

Now that I'm at this point, it makes me wonder how long I could go without food. I like the energy and efficiency that I'm experiencing. We'll see what I think at the 14 day mark.

Thanks for listening.