Should I Even Ever Eat Again?

Everything's rolling just fine on this fast. I'm feeling an overall "clean" feeling inside, my skin looks good, my energy is great, my mental clarity is all there. It makes me wonder how I can put food back into me ever again?

Don't get me wrong, I know I will eat. But over the last few years, as I've dabbled with raw food, with meatless food, with carbs and veggies and surgars and fruits, I'm just wondering how to navigate all that once the fast is over.

Last night I was with my friend Mick again, and I was telling him about that concern. And then I was like, "Fuck this fast. Let's just go get something to eat and be done with it."

Of course, this is not how I plan to break my fast. I mean it sincerely that I equate being with him with eating. Not that we're these two gigantic pigs of people; it's just what we did together.

I am at this point where I feel like all my relationships are changing, where I'm really looking at whether or not it is a reciprical friendship. I can complain if I wish, but I am seeing how non-reciprical I have been towards them. Is that because I'm a shitty person, or because I never felt truly connected with them? That's another blog, and not to be answered right now.

Otherwise, the fast is getting so easy for me, yesterday I didn't drink all my water requirements. I only drank about 65 per cent of what I should be drinking. This morning I woke up with a tight hamstring and my mouth like paper. Drank some water, and *poof* alleviated.

Here's my physical changes:
- I am down 15 pounds. Easy-peasy.
- My face is totally clear and bright except for a few small blemishes that refuse to leave. I wonder if my body is so busy clearing out the shit from the inside that it's like, yeah, yeah, those can wait...
- No bowel movements in two days.
- Bottom of my left foot; still not completely cleared up. It's almost like another camp tried to set up and do a resurge attack, but it's just not strong enough.
- Here's something I haven't mentioned before. My teeth feel stronger. The edges of my molars feel sharper, and my teeth look whiter. They used to feel ... mushy ... sometimes. Sometimes it would even feel like one would want to fall out. My gums look pinker and healthier.
- My tongue is still coated white. I wonder how long it will take me to get a pink tongue.
- My fingers - I can still peel a little bit of skin, but not like I used to. They are immensely better than before. I wonder on that, too, how long it would take for them to get clear. It isn't looking like a 10 - 14 day fast will cut it.
- Still uber efficient at work. I'm even able to chit chat with co-workers AND get my work done. I used to not be able to do this. It was all or nothing before - all chatting or all working. Seems I'm learning to blend the two. I like to attribute this to my overall good mood.
- Got my period yesterday. OK, guys, cover your ears and eyes: where as before, it was a very thick, mucus-y flow, it now feels like water. Never had it feel like this before.

Ok, that's it for today. Today I work and then am going of to a support meeting. It's not a support meeting on fasting, but I wish it were. The problem with me and support groups - I like to think I am on the leading edge, the first one doing something. At first the group is great, and then I feel like I'm not doing anything new (who is, right?) and I get all bummed out and don't feel as motivated. That's something I'm working on, but anyway. Gotta run for today. Thanks for listening. Talk with you tomorrow.