Fat Tuesday

It's Fat Tuesday.

In approximately two hours, I will officially begin my attempt at a 40 Day Lenten Fast.

I am terrified. I'm not gonna lie. I am scared I won't be able to do it. I am afraid I will hurt myslef. I am afraid I will die.

Again - if it gets to the point where it is physically dangerous, I will terminate the fast. But if it keeps going well, then I will keep going. I hope.

This biggest thing I am worried about is me. I do not do well with goal setting. This is absolutely horrifying to me. I have set a goal. I have told you I am wanting to do this goal.

Now I have to do it.

Ugh.

I hate this.

I'm feeling a temper tantrum come on here ... yeah, here we go ... I DON'T WANNA DO THIS FAST!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING WHEN I SAID I WOULD DO IT!!!! THERE IS NO WAY I CAN ACCOMPLISH THIS FEAT!!!! I AM FULL OF SHIT!!!! DON'T LISTEN TO ME!! DON'T BELIEVE ME!!! THERE IS NO WAY I CAN DO THIS!!! I AM ALREADY A FAILURE CUZ I DON'T BELIEVE IN ME SO WHY SHOULD YOU!!! WALK AWAY NOW!!! I WILL LET YOU DOWN!!! YOU WILL THINK I CAN PULL THIS OFF BUT I CAN'T!!! I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR LETTING YOU ALL DOWN!!! I AM ALL TALK AND NO ACTION. I AM SORRY. BUT IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.

ok. Well, hopefully i have pulled a little reverse psychology on myself, and maybe now I can accomplish it.

Well, we'll find out I guess.

In other news, I attempted to eat a proper Fat Tuesday way today, but it seems rather anti-climactic. My final food choices in the last 24 hours included a Panera Brownie, a medley of sandwiches from McDonald's today, and tonight Mike and I went to Red Lobster, but it was the most unsatisfying Red Lobster meal I've ever had. The biscuits were dry like they've been sitting under a heat lamp forever. The mushroom caps were good as always, the clam chowder was good. Actually, it was just the biscuits that weren't good. I think I was just blaming my overall dissatisfaction with my last supper choices on Red Lobster. Sorry. Not fair.

Ok, so, this is the end of the world as I know it. I am about to embark on my fast, I will be going back to doing daily postings, I thank you all for reading. Until next time.