Stasis and Jey-sus

So, this morning the scale read 227.

Again, not trying to lose, not trying to gain right now - but I find this interesting, this resting state I've gotten to here at 224-227 pounds.

I've rested at other weights, too. 211-208. 185-189. 162-165. 125-130.

What makes the body stay at a certain weight? What is really fueling the state that our mass maintains?

I mean - there are starving children in Africa. What makes them maintain their base weight? Even if it is 40 pounds, what is maintaining that 40 pounds of mass? Or, the jews in concentration camps - pictures of them starving, emaciated. Yet they were still able (forced, yes, but still physically able) to build and do manual labor. Anorexics -- sure, let's worry about their mental state. But I'm fascinated by their physical state - they get down to 80 pounds - but something is maintaining that 80 pounds other than them.

If calories are restricted, what is maintaining our mass? Is it metaphysics? Is it that we are organic bodies, like plants, that really just need water and sunlight? Plants don't ingest a thing except sunlight and water, and they grow into strong, beautiful, living creations. Trees - just water, sunlight, and nutrients received from their roots. Animals - look at rabbits, monkeys, on up to elephants and giraffes - they eat pretty much just water and vegetation. How about the animals we eat - cows, pigs, buffalo, chickens, deer, turkeys - all vegetarians. Even cats and lions, who we know as being these ferocious meat eaters - they are really first and foremost eating the intestines of their vegetarian eating meals. What's in the intestines? Processed greens.

My question is this: The other night on TV, I was watching a show with Jillian Michaels on it. She was saying how she takes in 1800 calories a day, expends 1800 calories a day, and get this - she weighs 114 pounds.

114 pounds! That's what rocked my world - what if she weren't taking in all those calories a day. What if she just ... were? What would she weigh? Seemed to me she would weigh ... 114 pounds. Or would she?

This is a hard concept for me to express. I know of a man in India, HRM, who lives on sunlight and water. Looking at him, he is at a very healthy weight. He looks trim, but not emaciated. I met a girl when watching him speak who has been doing the sun gazing as well. She says she's really never hungry. She says it doesn't really occur to her to eat; she feels she gets all her nutrients through the suns rays. She says she only eats because people find it strange that she doesn't want to; they think she's anorexic if she doesn't eat. She found this frustrating, and to my eye, an overweight, skeptical-of-most-thin-people eye, she seemed and sounded very healthy. She didn't seem to be covering up an eating disorder.

I had my own experience like this - the water fast was one thing, where really, I felt fine without the food. But on a "more normal" level, I was at a week long retreat, where it was on emotional work. And during that week, I hardly thought about eating either.

So what's the eating disorder: Thinking we need to eat as much as society says we do? Or those who've "conquered" eating if you will, and don't eat much at all?

We hear all the time how we need x amount of calories a day, and to lose weight, we must take in less calories than we put out. At some point, this plan gets us down to a healthy weight. OK. So - once we get to that healthy weight... what's maintaining that weight. Cuz if it's calories in and calories out ... there is still a basic mass to be supported.

I don't know. I think we have a lot to learn about what's really fueling us. If sunlight is what's really helping, this makes sense, because just being out and about gets us some suns rays.

Just wanted to throw that out there. As a reminder, I will be starting my next fast on Feb. 17, or Ash Wednesday. I grew up Catholic, and we celebrated Lent - wait. Let me clarify this. We talked about Lent, and went to church as usual during Lent, and we would give up things for Lent, but whether that got accomplished or not was never followed up on. I have a lot of things that I do not agree on with the Catholic Church, and question much of their teachings. However, the Lenten Season I think is a pretty cool concept when looked at just on its own merit. Also - here's the deal. We've got Jesus up on this pedestal - well, on a cross - and I don't think it is very inspiring, or teaches people how to be gracious and loving - like he was. If he existed at all, that is. But let's just assume he existed. There's a lot of Jesus people who act high and mighty and bitchy and judgemental. But I don't get that from Jesus himself. In fact, I think Jesus would be surprised to find the people who claim to follow him act the way they act. Anyway, Jesus is supposed to have done a 40 day fast. I have read of many people who have done 40 day, and longer, fasts. Jesus, if he existed, did what he did to teach us that we can do it too. He didn't do it to make it impossible for us - he did it to say, Hey, yeah. You can totally be like this. So, I'm doing the fast just to see if it is possible for a weak-minded, non-holy person can do one of the things that the Prophet of America did. Not to dismiss it - but to back up his claim that, yes. Any of us can live a life the way he did. And if I can do it, anyone can do it. And so maybe if I can handle a 40 day fast, I wonder what else I could handle? It's a big challenge for me mentally and physically.

That's enough for today. Thanks for listening. Until next time.